The Thing About Sir

I have spent my entire adult life with the military, 24 years as a solider/sailor (yes I was both) and the past 5 years as a civilian. "Sir" should be (and is for the most part), second nature to me. The problem with that is the matter of "respect"

In the military, officers are called Sir or Ma'am as a mark of respect. Respect for the rank or the "commission". Very rarely is that respect extended to the person wearing that rank. Sad fact is, most officers are a joke. Idiots. Arrogant fucks hardly deserving of such respect.

When it comes to BDSM and D/s, it's hard for me. I cannot just call anybody Sir ... it's like my military days .. it just doesn't mean anything. 

Most people are cool with that. I find that, the type of Doms I like & follow, ... do not want you to call them Sir or they at least respect the fact that you don't want to call them Sir. That you reserve the right to save it for your Dom or the Dom of your choosing (mythical in my case, of course :P  ) 

I have a friend that I email/text with regularly. When we first started to talk .. he said something to the effect ... You're pretty cool. I am not even too mad that you don't call me by my PROPER TITLE. 

HA!!! I disabused him of THAT notion pretty quickly and luckily he "understood" and we have since become good friend. 

Others, well, if they don't like it ... not my problem.

But still, there are a couple of Doms out there .. both on blogger & tumblr, that I do have mad respect for and I can't help but think of them as Sir. There are not many that I do hold above most others but there are a couple. I do not really talk to them so it's not an issue. I consider these Doms as almost gurus, high priests of Dom-dom almost.
And they will even say, "I am not your Dom, you do not have to address me as such" (said in the nicest way possible)
 MAD RESPECT.

When MyBatman laid down that "first order" as my Dom "I think maybe I want you to go upstairs ...." , my immediate reaction was 

O.O .. WOW! 

Yes Sir!!! 

There was no hesitation ... my mind just immediately went there. That had never happened before. The subbie in me just woke up & snapped to attention!!! (mind you there had been an incorrigible amount of flirting & innuendo between us, leading up to that moment) It was a defining moment. The first time (and only time) that I just went there. Sir just slipped out of my mouth, naturally (well out of my computer, technically) 

And now, being back in communication with FormerD, it posses an interesting dilemma for me (and probably the whole basis of this post). The night we had our long talk, he "laid down the law" 

"no more FormerD, little one. I have earned the respect & now expect it" 

I understand where he is coming from, I really do .. I get it. But I am finding it so hard. He is NOT my Dom anymore, & although I will gladly (hopefully) submit to him anytime (soon please), it is difficult to wrap my head around calling him Sir again. 

I don't mean any disrespect by it but I guess I am probably at my least submissive self right now. And it's hard to call somebody Sir who is not my Dom. Even MyBatman stopped being Sir the day he stopped being my Dom. 

SafeD says he has not "earned the title Sir" .. in referring to some ancient BDSM/Leather Community ritualistic protocol that I couldn't even begin to understand. The more I see him on our "coffee dates" the harder I find to picture him as this big bad sadist - OH, I KNOW it's there but until I get to see it .. it's just a big old blank. And I have no idea what I will be expected to call him either. Totally different experience being bottom to a top (or masochist to a sadist) versus a sub to a Dom.

And then there is Maverick. He has not come out & said call Me Sir .. but it is hanging in the air. I think he just expects it from everybody, he doesn't demand it but still he expects it. 

I  have done so tho, called him Sir ... a couple of times, but more because I didn't know what else to call him & there seems to warrant a name calling at the point in the particular conversation. 

 We have not exchanged names in our little "chats"  &  I usually avoid calling him anything. 

~~~~~

Just a note: 

I have used the term Sir here in this post because it is like the "universal symbol" of Dominants/  but you can easily switch it out to: Master, Boss, Daddy, or any other title of respect. It all amounts to the same thing in context with this post 

(And this concludes another rambling post of the wayward things my mind gets up to when it has too much time on it's hands)