Tuesday, February 21, 2017

To Blog or not to Blog??

I do miss blogging but really I have not had much to write about ...

So do I keep it going or just let it die?

My life has sucked for quite awhile now.

My Batman ... up & left. Things were happening in his personal life (with his woman) and I didn't hear from him for 2 months. When he did come back ... I was not mad per se but I was upset because due to the nature of our dynamic, I had no idea what was happening with him ..  he could literally die & I would never know it. So fear (but gratitude) made me guarded & short with my replies. And when I told him why .. how hard it was not knowing if I would ever hear from him .. boom, he left without a word .. or he died .. I don't know.  Oh well, not much i can do about it. But it's the last thing I would have think that he would do ... so not who he is.

I do miss him .. I always miss him but I am done chasing him (or anybody else down) ... I am done with all that. That was in November.

But my fibro ... has been kicking my ass so bad for months I cease to care much about anything anymore. I am so defeated by it at the moment. I have only managed to go to work a handful of times in the past 2 months. I am going to end up in the poor house before I get better. I have no support from my so-called medical team & I feel so alone.

I feel like I am literally trapped .. in my house, in my body. I have become an "it" & beyond caring about anything.

Top that off, 2 weeks ago I slipped on the ice on my walkway & busted my left wrist .. fun. So now I get to do everything one handed. Good excuse to not wear a bra though! ;)

But things are looking up (hopefully)

My Brat is coming home tomorrow!!! *happy dance* He has been studying in Germany for the past six months. We are in constant contact online but it's just not the same. He will bug me out of this fibro funk! And we have an addition .. he just celebrated his one year anniversary with his boyfriend .. my Bratty Cupcakes (he is a baker) and together they are my BratPack.

I impulsively sent my Batman an email the other night. I just wanted to let him know that how he left was hurtful & so unlike him .. but I also thanked him for coming back in to my life & for his friendship. Nobody makes me laugh like he can ... I am going to miss that most of all.

But it was closure. I wrote it .. I sent it & then I threw it away (figuratively) & I swear to Gods ... an hour later I got a message on fetlife from somebody I had talked to earlier in the ye. ar. We are meeting for coffee tomorrow night (if I am not too sick) .. and then yesterday ... 2 more messages came in. Both interesting fellows in their own rights.

I am not really looking for anything. To be honest, I have had the energy nor the desire to even consider going forward in any sort of relationship .. vanilla or otherwise. I just don't know if I have it in me anymore. I am learning (again) to be happy on my own. I don't want to be emotionally invested in anything or anybody outside my own circle of friends.

But I am not closing the door ... I am just taking it day by day, and see what happens. My first instinct was to say no to going for coffee with the first guy, not because of him but because of me & my mindset but I forced myself to say yes. He is a very nice man & shutting myself away is not going to do me any good.

Yeah .. so that is the latest update. I would like to say that I will keep it up but honestly .. who knows, I hope so .. I guess I will just have to take it day by day. ;)

I DO miss you, Blogland.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Why is that?

Why is it that when I (as a sub) am "horny" (really hate that word) & there is nobody around to take care of my needs .... do I not just want to masturbate but I want it all ... to be beaten (self inflicted but directed ouchies), plugged, clamped, stuffed with dildo to the hilt, gagged, bound AND then take my wand & go to town???? (and even then it's still not as much fun alone)

Why??? Anybody?

(yes myBatman is still around, just uber busy at the moment)

Thursday, March 3, 2016

STAR WARS!!!!! (spoiler alert for those who have NOT seen the Force Awakens)

I have two Star Wars Questions!!! Yaaaay!

First from mc kitten

I'd like to know how your Star Wars trooping is going!

It's going really great. We have been so busy in the past year, we did well over 100 troops in 2015. I guess with all the hype from the Force Awakens made us even more sought after.

Me, personally, I did not do as much trooping as I would have liked. I did get to go to Star Wars Celebration (a SW only convention) in Anaheim last April. That was NUTS. But it seemed to me that I missed more troops then I went to. I am not really liking that trend. I don't know how much of that I could blame on my fibromyalgia or just laziness? I seem to be forever tired(exhausted)! The passion for trooping & all things Star Wars is still there, it's just a matter of getting my body to cooperate!

And from DelFonte

What did you think of the new Star Wars movie? 

Boy oh boy ... that's a loaded question! ha ha ... I will try to keep it brief (trust me I have had conversations on this for hours at a time).

I have seen the movie 6 times (I think it has finally left theatres now though - booooo).

The first time I saw it was at the premier. I did troop it of course. Funny story, none of my fellow troopers and I actually had tickets to go see the premier (long story there & a massive mix up), but we wouldn't miss trooping such an event anyway. But about 10 mins after the premier started the manager of the theatre rounded up 8 tickets for a lucky few of us. I was one of the "lucky" ones. So there were a couple of Jedi and a couple of stripped down (to their black underarm our ... think head to toe black spandex) ... all sitting in the front row. It was a very interesting way to view what we had all been so anxiously awaiting. We came in about 20 minutes into the movie & I do not recommend watching a 3D movie from the front row. It was a very interesting & very distorted viewing.

I can honestly say it is NOT my favourite of all the Star Wars movies. I intensely hated Kylo Ren at first ... he was quickly dubbed as EMO Ren. I thought his temper tantrums were silly. But after eventual viewings I kind of had made this back story for him. He obviously has Daddy issues ... and was too immature when he fell to the dark side. He has strength in the force but has not been properly trained & was left to run wild with it. I think he is probably relatively young as well.

All in all, it's a great movie. I absolutely LOVE Rey .. she had better turn out to be Luke's daughter or I will seriously be pissed.

I hate hate hate the whole idea of the "big weapon" .. totally unbelievable plot there.

Alot of people think it's just "A New Hope" revisited but I don't see it. Of course there is similarities but there kind of has to be ... they had to introduce new characters & incorporate what has already happened.

I love the whole "Where's Luke" vibe (think Where's Waldo)

The whole Poe/Finn being gay thing ... is (hopefully) just wishful thinking on the fans part. I really think Poe/Finn/Rey trio was really over hyped & contrived to match the Han/Luke/Leia trio. It didn't really work for me ... Poe was just not really a big enough character. I don't see the "connection" between Poe & Finn & really hope they do not try to force the whole "gay" thing just for the sake of doing the "whole gay thing" ... I thought Rey & Finn had tons of chemistry together. But then again Rey just about bonded with everybody she met.

Oh heavens ... I could ramble on for days ... I will spare you that! ;)

Suffice to say ... I did love it and am already counting down the days (and hiding from the countless rumors) to Ep  VIII


Thank you both for the questions!

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Misty's Questions

From Misty

1. Has there been any more talk about switching? Have your feelings on the subject changed at all?

Good question!

There has been some more talking about "switch day" or as I like to call it "kittie appreciation day" but for the past couple of weeks MyBatman has been very busy & has been really ill with a nasty sinus infection. We haven't had much of a chance to play at all. He does really like the idea. It does excite us both. He thinks I would be a very evil Domme but no my feelings have not really changed on the subject. I will never like humiliation or feminizing of men. However, I am still most interested in visiting on Him some of the things He visits on me. He LOVES when I hurt myself for him BUT He does not "like pain" Himself. I am eager to do just a small fraction to Him that He does to me. He loves having me snap elastic bands on my thighs or boobs ..... so yeah, it will be a FUN day when switch day comes around.

2. If you could go on vacation anywhere where would it be?

Definitely my cottage. I have been to alot of interesting places in my career (Iceland, Norway, numerous islands in the Caribbean, to name but a few) ... but I have always come back to my cottage. There really is no place like home. Although ... winters on Maui would be divine!!! :D

3. If you could meet a celebrity (dead or alive) who would it be? 

Paul McCartney .. hands down,  Such a brilliant mind & talent. I did (last year) get to meet & acted like a total fan girl .. Mark Hamil .. twice! I have had a crush on him since 1977 so it was a definite bucket list moment.

Thanks so much for the questions Misty!!!!

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Oooo!!! It's March Q&A time!

I had literally forgot about this.

I have been gone for too long!

So I am game if anybody has any questions ... shoot! :D

Monday, February 8, 2016

Never Gonna Be Anything Other Than Me

I know I know .. the title of this post is full of suggestion, but those who know me .. know I am unapologetically me.

But really that's not what I am talking about.

I am talking about the ol' switcheroonie.

It has been quite the topic of conversation for the past week.

switch ...


domme ...


I have no desire to be any of those things.

MyBatman does agree, even thinks I would be a "diabolical" top, that I don't have it in me to be a Domme.

And He is absolutely right.

I don't ... and ...

I don't ever want to.

Besides He has a Domme .. why would He ever want another? Why would I even want to be?? (I wouldn't)

BUT ...

I cannot lie, He set me to a task (we have not implemented thus far ... I am in no hurry), a task to my mind .. is insurmountable. I am doomed to never ending failure. Would I try to do it? Of course I would ... for Him.

It got me thinking though. (never a good thing) IF I were ever permitted a Switch Day .. I would call it Kittie Appreciation Day & I would visit on my good Dom the things He has me do.

Like putting an elastic band around each thigh & snapping it 10 times ... allowing Him to play with Himself if it helps ... but "you better not fucking cum"

Or taking a ruler and spanking Himself on the inner thighs ... across His ass .. under His ass ... all the while twisting His nipples as hard as He can - PURPLE NURPLES!!!!

Sticking things into places that they ought to go.

Yes .. the kittie CAN be diabolical ... well, as diabolical as her Batman is anyway.

And it would be DELIGHTFUL!!!!

But that is as far as I would go because me being me ... I like to have fun. I do like pain it is true BUT I do not like humiliation, or just plain old being mean.

MyBatman did ask me if I thought that once I had a taste of the "top" life if I would want to stay that way.

I personally know a couple of subs that this has happened to. But no, it is NOT me.

Although I have limited knowledge (what I have seen on here, tumblr & fet .. okay porn too) but I do not like Dommes ... they scare me.

 (this is VERY generally speaking I do not mean to offend) ...

It always seems to me that they are always out to prove themselves BETTER than men. Feminists gone WILD.  Men & women dig it & I am down with that .. but it's just not for me.

I have no desire to see a man dressed in any articles of women's clothing ... not panties, or nylons (I fucking hate nylons & am now made to wear them on Fridays *sighs*), bras, school girl uniforms .. whatever.

And I don't do humiliation, it's a hard limit for me.

I have spent my whole life putting myself down .. I have no wish to have somebody else bring those demons back .. nor would I intentionally do that to another person.

Nope, I am quite happy to be little sub kittie named geeky .. more little than sub (well I just like to have fun so I think I have some little qualities).

*clears throat*

So, in conclusion ... I don't want to "switch" ... I just want a "kittie appreciation day".

Luckily MyBatman knows me well enough (sometimes even
better than I think He does) and He will give me my day,  & He knows exactly what He will get. He does not like pain .. but He will hurt ... for me.

... and it will be joyous.

Saturday, February 6, 2016


MyBatman is in a FemDom relationship with another. 

MyBatman is all Dom with me. 

MyBatman is an amazing Dom.

MyBatman has a very devilish imagination. 

MyBatman loves to give me self-inflicted ouchies.

MyBatman does not like pain himself.

MyBatman thinks i would be "diabolical" as a top. 

MyBatman knows that i would not do anything to Him that He hasn't done to me. 

MyBatman is more than a little excited & nervous at the thought of "switching things up" 

MyBatman should be nervous.