Tuesday, September 30, 2014

When Your Body Betrays You

(and not in a good way).

The summer was hard on me. Well this is actually been a pretty hard year for me, health wise.

It seems like every day now, I have to fight with myself, just to get up & go to work. I think if I could I would just sleep my life away at this point. Yeah it's sucky.

I am not really sure what is wrong. My fibro has been a bitch.

Food & I are not friends anymore. I hate it, in fact. I usually have to force myself to eat, and then half the time, I am in agony afterwards.

I went to the Dr. a couple of weeks ago. He has me on monthly B12 shots and I have had to get extra blood work done because he was not happy with my thyroid. I am also waiting for a referral to go see a gastro specialist. And my rhuemotologist.

Fun times.

Really great times within the D/s realm too.

But this post isn't meant to be about my whining (honestly)

Through it all, I have been so grateful & lucky that my Wolf has been so patient & understanding.

The thing with being sick all the time is that it really gets into your head. The ultimate mind fuck? You stop feeling sexy, womanly, hot, submissive or whatever and more and more you just feel like an it. It is very easy to slip into depression.

But through it all my Wolf has been there. Learning & dealing. He has been amazing & I don't know how I ever got so lucky. Believe me, it's not easy to find anybody who is willing to try to understand what you are going thru let alone, help you thru it.

Poor guy got alot more than He bargained for when He gave me his collar *sighs*. He says He is NOT patient but ... well he is wayyyyyy more patient than I could ever be. He has kept the depression at bay & makes sure that I eat, sleep, get up in the morning (He even had to call me from Texas several times yesterday to wake me up). He never lets the pity party get out of hand.

And most importantly, He is just always there! No matter what. Even when I think that He would be so much better off without me. He is always there!

And for that I am the luckiest woman alive!

I love You Daddy! You ARE my awesome sauce!!!!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Still Waiting for Summer!

WTF do you mean it is the 2nd of September?!?!?!  How the hell did THAT happen?

As always summer goes by in a flash. Why can't it be the opposite .. winter comes & goes & summer "drags out"?


I have spent most of my summer going back & forth to the cottage, every other weekend & the weekends I spend at home .. I seemed to have slept thru.

There was no big Fan Expo comic con at the end of summer for me this year. They had it on Labour Day Weekend & that is definitely COTTAGE WEEKEND .. not even Star Wars can outshine that.

I have been very negligent with my blog .. certainly not my intention at all. In fact .. I have lots of "in the works" in my drafts.  ... such titillating titles as:

butt plug of the month club
dirty little secret
living online
the fine art of reflection

I need to learn to manage my time better but I am working on it slowly ....