I have been trying really hard to move forward with my life. I have been making a concerted effort to get over the past & get out there. I have been meeting lots of new people, I have been getting reacquainted with old "friends". I am moving on. Right????
And then I get plagued with dreams. For over 2 weeks now I have been having dreams of him. Like the one I posted yesterday. They are not all tea & roses though. Most of the time they end up fucked up & wake me up in the middle of the night. Like the one I had last night.
I had a bad one, the night I ended up talking to FormerD all night. I could overlook that one, mostly, because well, I was talking to FormerD all night.
But come on really??? I don't want this. It's been almost 5 months for fuck sake!
Is it my subconscious, not willing to let go? I don't understand this at all. I was doing so well, trying so hard.
I really want to move past this. I want to be happy. I really do. I do! Because let me tell you ... it really sucks to be hung up on & mooning over somebody that doesn't want you.
And I really fucking HATE IT!
Sorry to see you all GRRRRRRR!!!!! I can imagine it would be awful pining for someone from the past. I've never had that, yet, though I probably will have to pine for Master in a few years when he eventually moves away from this area, which he definitely will eventually do. I hope he will sometimes visit me. Now you've got me all upset! GRRRRRRR!!!!! Hee.
ReplyDeleteIt IS awful ... it sucks big time. And I hope you never have to go thru it.
Delete((((hugs))))
ReplyDeletemaybe you're still grieving for what might have been, but turned out not to be - which is why your subconscious is still spinning scenarios about it all?
Apparently .. but how the hell to do you fight your subconscious?????
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