I am not really sure why this is on my mind tonight but it is.
I have heard alot of talk about humiliation .. on the blogs, talking with friends, talks with My Batman. FormerD was (and still apparently) big on telling me how he was (will) going to humiliate me.
It's a funny thing "humiliation" . There are some blogs on tumblr. I guess I saw one yesterday that maybe got my brain churning. "All women are objects" is the blog's name and it was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. Oh the pictures aren't bad .. it's the comments. The title of the blog is the most pleasant thing about it. ... disgusting human being. (yes some are into this and that's why, I am not here to judge, I just offer my own opinion as it pertains in my own life)
I am very open minded when it comes to the physical. I don't know. I have been peed on .. twice, used as a foot stool, made to drink out of a Kittie bowl, crawl around on all 4's cuffed & chained. Etc etc. I do acknowledge that I do not have alot of experience within this lifestyle but I am confident in saying that there is not too much I am not unwilling to try .. at least once anyway. (loaded statement I know .. I am sure there is more out there that I have not even heard about before but I am talking about what I do know of)
I do love a good mind fuck ... it will get my heart races & make me all squishy & wet. But words ... words hurt. This is probably where alot of my hard limits would lie.
Maybe it's because I am a very sensitive person .. and very literal. Say hurtful things to me & I WILL take them literally. One thing that has really made it to my hard limits .. something I have talked about to a couple of different people. You can NEVER call me a pig. EVER. I don't care what the context or if it's meant to push my boundaries & maybe break thru barriers. DON'T EVER CALL ME A PIG. My inner demons would eat that shit up & never let me forget it. And I WOULD believe it.
I just couldn't handle it.
In my life .. my vanilla life .. as a child, as a teenager & a young adult .. I have been called a pig, a fat pig in fact, ugly, freak, and a loser more times than I could count. My mother even called me a loser once .. my own mother ... I think I was 14 at the time & was wearing makeup for the first time. Nice.
The me, now, I can & will tell you to fuck off & die .. if you called me anything like that (but my inner demon would be in my ear laughing & saying "see I told you so") ... but for a young shy girl ... man those words HURT!
I have a pretty tough skin .. spending most of my adult life in the military (still very much a "man's" world) .. I had to learn to toughen up & build alot of walls to protect myself.
Anyway, I am not sure why I am writing this .. why now. Bored & trying to ward off the winter blahs? .. .waiting for my life to pick up again ... more than likely. Too much time on my hands & thinking .. always a bad combo for me.
And that tumblr blog ... really hit me. D/s is all about respect and I don't care if you are trying to "perpetuate" a certain image ... a sub is something to be cherished and respected, not to be called fuckmeat & worthless & ... well ... a pig.
*shrugs*
((((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteI can't stand tumblrs like that - the 'all women are ******* and all want/need a man - any man - to teach them their place'
er, no.
here's the thing - it turns out I adore humiliation and objectification - can't get enough of it often, crave it, get aroused by it like nothing else, BUT - what works for me is quite specific. Like you, I have boundries. I like certain verbal humiliation but some words would badly hurt me - it's a very dangerous risky play, in many ways I think, in many ways it reminds me of breath play (that I also love). For me, it's something I never would have even thought to have tried, if not with my husband - we've been together nearly 20 years now and he knows me very well, and I trust him. I wouldn't do it (humiliation, objectification, or breath play come to that) with anyone else.
Some random bloke calling me names? Er no, he'd get put in his place!
I guess it all comes down to context. You can call me whore, slut, fucktoy ... as long as "my" or "his" etc is prefixed to it. Call me a whore, or a slut ... no, you might as well call me a banshee cuz that's what you're going to end up with. Most people I have met are very respectful .. I have been extremely lucky that way *knocks on wood*
DeleteBut yes I do have boundaries .. I am not sure what they all are yet .. I am a work in progress. But as long as it's not determental to my self worth (which is already not the greatest) .. then I would probably not take issue.
Yeah, I wouldn't be ok with being called a pig either, and I wouldn't be involved with someone who would call me one. I don't get the "worthless" thing either. He's getting the greatest pleasure imaginable and the one giving it to him is worthless? Doesn't make sense. I need things to make sense. The ones that say she's just a hole to be used and such don't bother me, but she can't be a "worthless hole" or he wouldn't be wasting his time with her.
ReplyDeleteI never presume to understand what makes other people tick .. what is gross to some is ambrosia to others. I can only go by my own ideals and wants really. Those, such as that tumblr guy ... I will always steer well clear of though. But hey some people do get off on that kind of treatment ... *shrug*
DeleteWords do hurt! Much more than physical pain. However, in my situation, 12 years of marriage to a good man, I don't think those words would hurt as bad because I know he doesn't really see me that way (as a pig, worthless, etc) but, if someone else said them... yeah, I get it... words cut deep and stay there.
ReplyDeleteI grew up believing that I was worthless & a loser .. being called names. Oh it wasn't all horror & doom. I actually did not have a bad childhood .. but those words haunted me (and sometimes still), throughout my adult life. I have worked too hard trying to overcome them that no matter what or who .. I would never allow (I couldn't allow) those words to ever hurt me again. ... You know?
DeleteLoved this.
ReplyDeleteI adore humiliation, but its something that one i think has to tread carefully with, so important that the dominant knows his sub very well.
For me anything associated with weight, being called fat etc would have a negative reaction, its just not something i can get my head around.
But for some it triggers a different response, and i can understand how because there are things i love which im very sure to others they may well have difficulty getting their heads around...hence why i think forms of humiliation are so personal to the individual.
x
Thanks tori!
DeleteI agree with you ... I think there is a fine line that must be trod upon very carefully.
Physically I think I could take alot of humilitation. I say the word PIG because for me, it has nothing but bad mind assoication ... but I quite like the idea of pet play (not full on pet play) ... My Batman & I kinda toyed around with the whole kittie thing .. it was just kind of evolving ... I had the ears (which I never wore) .. the collar, the leash, the water bowl. It was exciting & arousing .. just another thing I often wonder, how it would have progressed (cat tail butt plug anyone). But change that to a pig tail & pigs ears .. and being called piggie instead of kittie ... just the very thought makes me cringe. It's all in the mind .. this i know. But yeah.
I don't know how I would feel about the whole kittie thing with anybody other than MyBatman either .. it was our thing .. not something planned out just something that had a life of its own.
Oh well ... I do agree it's like anything else in this lifestyle ... it's all up to the individual and preferences.
Thank you for your comments .. they were very insightful. :D