Wow, we are not even halfway thru January. So far it's been a miserable existence.
I am exhausted .. It's all I can do to go to work. I am consumed with it. I literally passed at for 2 hours last night ... In my chair ... At my computer desk. I woke up & had a smoke & went to bed. ... Fun times.
I have not heard from FormerD since Saturday .. Who knows, I probably won't. *shrugs* probably better that way. I need the one thing he can't give me ... Time & attention - wait, that's 2 things .. Whatever.
SafeD ... *shrug* someday ... I'm sure ... Maybe
Maybe I need a good "tune up" but I am too tired to care. A good session with a flogger sounds pretty good.
No?
That's ok too
All I want to do is sleep anyway.
Yes I do blame the weather. It's been nothing but shit ... Everyday. Deep freeze & then warm up for a day so it can freeze rain & then go right back to deep freeze again! Tomorrow +5 & all day rain. Fuck you Mother Nature. It will be another day for narcotics because it will be yet another migraine.
The fibro is kicking my ass ... More than it has in a very long time. I don't want to do anything but sleep. Yet it feels like I haven't slept in days. Now I have to fight off the inevitable depression that always accompanies this.
So far I am losing the battle. My GIVE A FUCK FACTOR .. Is pretty much gone.
I have no motivation & I don't care.
I have made a dr appointment but it is not for another 10 days. I have started taking vitamin D
Til then ... I will be under my rock ... Sleeping.
(I am sorry for being such a downer ... I will try not to post anymore til I come out on the other side of this!)
(((HUGS))) i've been quietly struggling with an encroaching black dog since before christmas, and the first week of this new year has just been an absolute bugger, and not, sadly, in a fun way!
ReplyDeletehope it all looks up for you soon xxx
The winter has been like that here too. One minute we're as cold as Mars and the next we're having spring. I know temperature changes like that are hell on my fibro. It is a miserable miserable miserable thing.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
I'll be thinking of you. Hope you feel better very soon!
((Hugs)) .... winter blues suck! Sorry FormerD has not contacted you again.
ReplyDelete((Hugs))
Welcome to my pity party! I know ... I suck. I really hate being like this .. it's actually been a couple of years since I have been this bad.
ReplyDeleteI do thank you for your patience & your kind thoughts.
I don't really know what else to say. This will pass & I will be me again soon.
Keep sharing! Keeping it bottled up makes it worse.
DeleteWe are here to listen. Provide antics. (I'm trying to think of one..lol). Overall, to help you through it.