A Fantasy Spanker?

joeyred51 asked:

Do  you have a fantasy hero who you want to spank you? 

Wow, this is a really hard question. It's not really something I have ever really thought about ...  unless I can count MyBatman *giggles*! The thought of being with him in "real life" was very exciting but also kinda terrifying all at the same time ... (the way his DOMLY mind worked!!! .. OH BOY!)

But fantasy hero? Hmmm,

Well every time I see Ian Somerhalder on TV (Damon, The Vampire Diaries), I want to jump through the screen & let him do VERY BAD things to me!!!

. 

It's his EYES ... HONEST!!! (I would so get very lost in those eyes)

I honestly don't think of ttwd, as just a spanking though. It is the whole enchilada for me . spanking would be just a part of it.

And there are three Doms out there, between blogland & tumblr, that I would literally, without doubt, submit to immediately ... throw myself at their feet, no questions asked. They are the "fantasy heroes" to me. They epitomize everything about being a "true" Dom that I could ever imagine or dream of! They are my "heroes" and the basis for which I set my "standards" for. And the best part of that, is that they are all too real, If i could find somebody half as amazing as these  "fantasy heroes" I would colour myself very lucky indeed. 

Thanks for the question Joey (and I am so happy to hear that your recovery is going well)!!!

(((hugs)))

Hard Limits

This is one area where I do have a lot of trouble with.

Apparently Doms don't like it when you tell them you don't really have a "hard limit list" ... who knew? I sure has hell didn't!! It's a good thing I am a quick study.

FormerD had wanted me to fill out a BDSM activity form, when we first started talking about this lifestyle. I said okay .. I will take a look.

I think I got to the third activity (can't even remember what it was - maybe spanked with a hair brush or a cane .. something like that anyway) ... and I shut down that window & sent him a message.

"if you want my mind to snap shut & have me ending up with a VERY big hard limit list, you will not ask me to fill this out" 

How so?

I have stated before on this blog (probably several times) .. when I think too much, THAT'S when I get into trouble. When I was looking at that checklist ... I swear, my head was saying NO FUCKING WAY .. to literally everything!!!!!

Most of it wasn't even that bad but my mind just couldn't grasp it. I am a very literal person ..and a visual one rather than technical, analyticil one.

I would much rather keep my mind open & be willing to try almost anything ... once.

Now that is not to say that I don't have hard limits because I do ... it may be a small list but it is rock solid.

Of course there are the standards ... no children (eww) or animals (triple ewww), no bloodletting, no guns, no knives, (why does that even have to be stated!!!),  needle play (although under the right circumstances) ... no medical play!

If I even hear the "E" word ... I would be out of there so fucking fast!!! And not be held responsible for any violence that I may incur. ... 'nuff said about THAT! *shudders*

But also on my little list (and this TRUTH!!!) :

My 4 lightsabers are NOT spanking implements!!!! 

COFFEE

MyBatman suggested ONCE that he should deny me my morning intake of caffeine  .. It immediately went on my hard limits list .. much to his amusement/bemusement! 

I had/have photography on there as well ... although I think it is more of a soft limit now. FormerD kinda encouraged me to take pictures for him .. not alot or not often but I didn't mind if I had "creative" licence. 

With MyBatman, I actually had alot of fun taking pictures of various tasks I had to do for him. They were very selective shots .. never revealing anything naughty or even what I looked like. He never asked for them .. I did that on my own. He only ever asked for (well ordered me to take) one photo and it was not anything bad. 

SafeD loves taking pictures ... and posting them on Fetlife & tumblr ... I know because he loves showing them to me when we are at coffee. Not something I am too interested in doing! 

Yes taking photos is definitely something that I will keep a certain amount of control over or it will go back on the hard limits list. 

So yup .. that's literally pretty much it. People are surprised with how small it is. I do have to usually add the codicil, that I am still relatively new to all this & bear that in mind BEFORE you decide you think you can go hog wild .. that will definitely result in a safe word to end the "play" more than likely permanently. Fortunately that has not really been an issue (well once with MrD) but it worked out. 

Of course, as always alot also depends on who you are with too! As always .. it is key .. chemistry, honesty & trust!!! 

It will grow .. my little hard limit list. I know I will add things as I go further down the rabbit hole. 

Gods only knows what other quirky things I will put on there.

 Hmmm, I wonder if I will have to put my ewok on there too! 

YUB NUB!!!!!  o.O 

The Thing About Sir

I have spent my entire adult life with the military, 24 years as a solider/sailor (yes I was both) and the past 5 years as a civilian. "Sir" should be (and is for the most part), second nature to me. The problem with that is the matter of "respect"

In the military, officers are called Sir or Ma'am as a mark of respect. Respect for the rank or the "commission". Very rarely is that respect extended to the person wearing that rank. Sad fact is, most officers are a joke. Idiots. Arrogant fucks hardly deserving of such respect.

When it comes to BDSM and D/s, it's hard for me. I cannot just call anybody Sir ... it's like my military days .. it just doesn't mean anything. 

Most people are cool with that. I find that, the type of Doms I like & follow, ... do not want you to call them Sir or they at least respect the fact that you don't want to call them Sir. That you reserve the right to save it for your Dom or the Dom of your choosing (mythical in my case, of course :P  ) 

I have a friend that I email/text with regularly. When we first started to talk .. he said something to the effect ... You're pretty cool. I am not even too mad that you don't call me by my PROPER TITLE. 

HA!!! I disabused him of THAT notion pretty quickly and luckily he "understood" and we have since become good friend. 

Others, well, if they don't like it ... not my problem.

But still, there are a couple of Doms out there .. both on blogger & tumblr, that I do have mad respect for and I can't help but think of them as Sir. There are not many that I do hold above most others but there are a couple. I do not really talk to them so it's not an issue. I consider these Doms as almost gurus, high priests of Dom-dom almost.
And they will even say, "I am not your Dom, you do not have to address me as such" (said in the nicest way possible)
 MAD RESPECT.

When MyBatman laid down that "first order" as my Dom "I think maybe I want you to go upstairs ...." , my immediate reaction was 

O.O .. WOW! 

Yes Sir!!! 

There was no hesitation ... my mind just immediately went there. That had never happened before. The subbie in me just woke up & snapped to attention!!! (mind you there had been an incorrigible amount of flirting & innuendo between us, leading up to that moment) It was a defining moment. The first time (and only time) that I just went there. Sir just slipped out of my mouth, naturally (well out of my computer, technically) 

And now, being back in communication with FormerD, it posses an interesting dilemma for me (and probably the whole basis of this post). The night we had our long talk, he "laid down the law" 

"no more FormerD, little one. I have earned the respect & now expect it" 

I understand where he is coming from, I really do .. I get it. But I am finding it so hard. He is NOT my Dom anymore, & although I will gladly (hopefully) submit to him anytime (soon please), it is difficult to wrap my head around calling him Sir again. 

I don't mean any disrespect by it but I guess I am probably at my least submissive self right now. And it's hard to call somebody Sir who is not my Dom. Even MyBatman stopped being Sir the day he stopped being my Dom. 

SafeD says he has not "earned the title Sir" .. in referring to some ancient BDSM/Leather Community ritualistic protocol that I couldn't even begin to understand. The more I see him on our "coffee dates" the harder I find to picture him as this big bad sadist - OH, I KNOW it's there but until I get to see it .. it's just a big old blank. And I have no idea what I will be expected to call him either. Totally different experience being bottom to a top (or masochist to a sadist) versus a sub to a Dom.

And then there is Maverick. He has not come out & said call Me Sir .. but it is hanging in the air. I think he just expects it from everybody, he doesn't demand it but still he expects it. 

I  have done so tho, called him Sir ... a couple of times, but more because I didn't know what else to call him & there seems to warrant a name calling at the point in the particular conversation. 

 We have not exchanged names in our little "chats"  &  I usually avoid calling him anything. 

~~~~~

Just a note: 

I have used the term Sir here in this post because it is like the "universal symbol" of Dominants/  but you can easily switch it out to: Master, Boss, Daddy, or any other title of respect. It all amounts to the same thing in context with this post 

(And this concludes another rambling post of the wayward things my mind gets up to when it has too much time on it's hands)