Apparently Doms don't like it when you tell them you don't really have a "hard limit list" ... who knew? I sure has hell didn't!! It's a good thing I am a quick study.
FormerD had wanted me to fill out a BDSM activity form, when we first started talking about this lifestyle. I said okay .. I will take a look.
I think I got to the third activity (can't even remember what it was - maybe spanked with a hair brush or a cane .. something like that anyway) ... and I shut down that window & sent him a message.
"if you want my mind to snap shut & have me ending up with a VERY big hard limit list, you will not ask me to fill this out"
How so?
I have stated before on this blog (probably several times) .. when I think too much, THAT'S when I get into trouble. When I was looking at that checklist ... I swear, my head was saying NO FUCKING WAY .. to literally everything!!!!!
Most of it wasn't even that bad but my mind just couldn't grasp it. I am a very literal person ..and a visual one rather than technical, analyticil one.
I would much rather keep my mind open & be willing to try almost anything ... once.
Now that is not to say that I don't have hard limits because I do ... it may be a small list but it is rock solid.
Of course there are the standards ... no children (eww) or animals (triple ewww), no bloodletting, no guns, no knives, (why does that even have to be stated!!!), needle play (although under the right circumstances) ... no medical play!
If I even hear the "E" word ... I would be out of there so fucking fast!!! And not be held responsible for any violence that I may incur. ... 'nuff said about THAT! *shudders*
But also on my little list (and this TRUTH!!!) :
My 4 lightsabers are NOT spanking implements!!!!
COFFEE
MyBatman suggested ONCE that he should deny me my morning intake of caffeine .. It immediately went on my hard limits list .. much to his amusement/bemusement!
I had/have photography on there as well ... although I think it is more of a soft limit now. FormerD kinda encouraged me to take pictures for him .. not alot or not often but I didn't mind if I had "creative" licence.
With MyBatman, I actually had alot of fun taking pictures of various tasks I had to do for him. They were very selective shots .. never revealing anything naughty or even what I looked like. He never asked for them .. I did that on my own. He only ever asked for (well ordered me to take) one photo and it was not anything bad.
SafeD loves taking pictures ... and posting them on Fetlife & tumblr ... I know because he loves showing them to me when we are at coffee. Not something I am too interested in doing!
Yes taking photos is definitely something that I will keep a certain amount of control over or it will go back on the hard limits list.
So yup .. that's literally pretty much it. People are surprised with how small it is. I do have to usually add the codicil, that I am still relatively new to all this & bear that in mind BEFORE you decide you think you can go hog wild .. that will definitely result in a safe word to end the "play" more than likely permanently. Fortunately that has not really been an issue (well once with MrD) but it worked out.
Of course, as always alot also depends on who you are with too! As always .. it is key .. chemistry, honesty & trust!!!
It will grow .. my little hard limit list. I know I will add things as I go further down the rabbit hole.
Gods only knows what other quirky things I will put on there.
Hmmm, I wonder if I will have to put my ewok on there too!
YUB NUB!!!!! o.O
Now I'm curious. What is "E"?
ReplyDeleteEWWW HS .. I hate even saying the word ...
Delete*whispers* enema .... GAG........ GROSSSSSSS!!!!! *shudders* & heads for the hills!!!
Yes I AM 47 going on 12!!! :P
You are cracking me up!
Deletegeez, thanks ... I now have the heebie geebies & I am blaming you!!!
Deleteooooooohhhhhhh I though you meant electricity and was going to whole hearted agree!
DeleteElectrocution is on my hard limits list, I doubt it will ever come off. But then being tickled and picked up were hard limits for me for years and years, and last year I took a deep breath and removed the limit.. It's been fun!
Hmmm, now why I never would have even thought of electricity mc!
DeleteI am open minded enough to try the violet wand .. which SafeD always seems to work into conversations! o.O
But that OTHER "E" ... it's etched ... embedded ... embroidered ... burned .. tatooed ... etc etc .. onto that hard limit list .. I would go thru every other limit I might have on there .. that one is writen in PERMANENT MARKER! .. just sayin' ;)
Yes, the "E" thing took me a second, but I figured it out. Uh, no.
ReplyDeleteYup ... I even hear the word & I am running for the hills!!
Delete'The "E" thing'....that was my question too! I love the waiter pic btw =) XOXO
ReplyDeleteHmmm, well I guess I am glad hs asks what it was then. In my distaste I just kinda assume people can read my mind. ;)
DeleteYeah that waiter is great ... I have been looking for an excuse to use that pic for a long time now.
lol, before i met my Master my limit list was huge, apart from the big 2, kids and animals, i only have the limits my Master has set me.
ReplyDeleteThat is not to say i have done everything, i havent, but i have grown in that what i once was so adamant i was not doing, they are things i now love..needles being one of them.
I try to look it as having an open mind to the possibilites, who knows where we will be in 5 years time..i certainly never thought i would be where i am now.
x
Before I met FormerD .. there was Mr Experience. I do believe he either thought I was knowledgeble about BDSM (he knew I was not) or he enjoyed keeping me in the dark. I had no "hard limits" with him because I didn't know about them (and never thought once to do any research on my own). He always wanted me to do stuff that I was .. well I didn't like any of it much .. but thankfully, he was at the other end of the computer. The one time we did get together .. he was a fumbling fool so, I got lucky there.
DeleteBut anyway, I do agree with you. My mind is very open or at least I do try to keep as open as possible. That is why my hard limits are very few. I do not have alot of "practical" experience. I am a firm believer that with the right person .. the sky is the limit. Hells, I would even consider taking the lightsabers off the hard limits list .. for the right Dom. BUT the "E" limit is etched in stone & will NEVER be breached. EVER! ;)
Great Read! Thanks for sharing...Enjoy reading about your journey, GK ;)
ReplyDeleteAww thank you Davefan but you better be careful .. I just might make you head cheerleader!!!!! :P (i really do appreciate the words of encouragement you always provide!)
Delete