From Thursday 13 February 2014 .....
I just realized today is my second anniversary!!!
It was 2 years ago today that I gained my freedom .. finally free from a 71/2 year co-dependency with my last ever vanilla boyfriend.
He was 18 years my junior. He was only 20 when we met .. full of cockiness that I always seem to go for. But all you Cougar wannabes out there trust me when I say .. younger ain't always better .. TRUE STORY!!!
In that 71/2 years .. he never worked (well probably all the time he did work would not have added up to a full year). He literally felt he didn't have to work .. even though he knew what an extra burden it had put on me. A truly selfish ass.
He "left me" .. for another woman. And when I shut that door on him for the final time, all I could think of to say was "Well he's HER problem now!" Good riddance!
Best thing that ever happened to me.
You are all probably thinking, WHY did you put up with such a loser. I have no good answer to that. The Gods know that I kicked him out at least 3 times a year for 7 years, but he always came back & I always caved. It's funny how you can talk yourself into just about anything huh?
But yes, 2 years ago .. on the 14th of February .. that STOOPID commercial holiday .. I was truly free. Free from the deadbeat & free from that old life. And it was fucking AWESOME!!!
Coincidentally , TODAY is the 2nd anniversary for me & my homosexual life mate .. THE BRAT! And we celebrating by trooping (and a stop in Ikea). *giggles*For that first full year . I didn't need anybody or want anybody in my life. I immersed myself in my Star Wars stuff ... met more people, gained a social life that I had not had in such a long time & had a blast! Everybody noticed too .. even those who did not know me that well, commented that I seemed so much happier, & carefree. Goes to show what losing 200lbs of dead weight will do for you!
This year, exploring my submissive side has been quite the rollercoaster ride. It has not been easy and I still feel alot of pain and sadness but still I am who I want to be & heading in the right direction that I started just a little over 2 years ago when I finally became free! And I wouldn't change a thing (well that's not true .. there is that one thing I would change but ain't nothing I can do about that!!!!)
Freedom is good!:) Glad you're happy about how that all worked out. The story of how/why I took my ex back after the first time he left me for an online fling is too bizarre to believe. We had a lot of fun times after that though, until he went nuts and blew everything to smithereens.
ReplyDeletethat's the thing with co-dependant relationships .. it's just easier to take them back & live with it. But never again will I do that. I would rather (and probably will) die alone than ever put up with shit like that again
DeleteIts one of those age old questions isnt it? why do people stay with people when they are clearly no good for each other? i think many have that experience, i know i do..and even now many years later i really cant explain why i stayed with the bastard for as long as i did lol
ReplyDeleteBut your clearly much happier now, and its whats happening now, what might be in the future that matters, the past is experience, lessons learned.
x
it's so true tori .. now is the thing. EVERY relationship I had ever had (including a short lived marriage) was bad. Alot of it was down to me actually, I didn't know how to communicate and stand up for myself ... it was easy for people to roll over me & do what they want. And I am alot happier now .. still alone but I'd rather this than that! Lessons defiinately (FINALLY) learned!
DeleteCongratulations. I have had a similar experience. I stayed with someone for a long time supporting her and even writing college papers for her. I cannot explain why it took so long to split up.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are happier.
Hugs,
joey
As I told Tiklish ... I think you just learn to live with it, you don't want to be the cause of hurt to anybody & you convince yourself you are doing the right thing by staying that the other person will change (ha!) given a little more time. And as more time goes by you become complacent and this is your new normal. It's not only til after things end, that you see things really clearly for the first time. ... Make sense????
DeleteSo proud of you. Doesn't matter why or for how long. All that matters is that today you are happier than yesterday. And yesterday meaning 2 years ago. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThanks Doll!!! ((((hugs)))))
Deletemany congrats on such a meaningful anniversary - well done you xxx
ReplyDelete