Apparently Doms don't like it when you tell them you don't really have a "hard limit list" ... who knew? I sure has hell didn't!! It's a good thing I am a quick study.
FormerD had wanted me to fill out a BDSM activity form, when we first started talking about this lifestyle. I said okay .. I will take a look.
I think I got to the third activity (can't even remember what it was - maybe spanked with a hair brush or a cane .. something like that anyway) ... and I shut down that window & sent him a message.
"if you want my mind to snap shut & have me ending up with a VERY big hard limit list, you will not ask me to fill this out"
How so?
I have stated before on this blog (probably several times) .. when I think too much, THAT'S when I get into trouble. When I was looking at that checklist ... I swear, my head was saying NO FUCKING WAY .. to literally everything!!!!!
Most of it wasn't even that bad but my mind just couldn't grasp it. I am a very literal person ..and a visual one rather than technical, analyticil one.
I would much rather keep my mind open & be willing to try almost anything ... once.
Now that is not to say that I don't have hard limits because I do ... it may be a small list but it is rock solid.
Of course there are the standards ... no children (eww) or animals (triple ewww), no bloodletting, no guns, no knives, (why does that even have to be stated!!!), needle play (although under the right circumstances) ... no medical play!
If I even hear the "E" word ... I would be out of there so fucking fast!!! And not be held responsible for any violence that I may incur. ... 'nuff said about THAT! *shudders*
But also on my little list (and this TRUTH!!!) :
My 4 lightsabers are NOT spanking implements!!!!
COFFEE
MyBatman suggested ONCE that he should deny me my morning intake of caffeine .. It immediately went on my hard limits list .. much to his amusement/bemusement!
I had/have photography on there as well ... although I think it is more of a soft limit now. FormerD kinda encouraged me to take pictures for him .. not alot or not often but I didn't mind if I had "creative" licence.
With MyBatman, I actually had alot of fun taking pictures of various tasks I had to do for him. They were very selective shots .. never revealing anything naughty or even what I looked like. He never asked for them .. I did that on my own. He only ever asked for (well ordered me to take) one photo and it was not anything bad.
SafeD loves taking pictures ... and posting them on Fetlife & tumblr ... I know because he loves showing them to me when we are at coffee. Not something I am too interested in doing!
Yes taking photos is definitely something that I will keep a certain amount of control over or it will go back on the hard limits list.
So yup .. that's literally pretty much it. People are surprised with how small it is. I do have to usually add the codicil, that I am still relatively new to all this & bear that in mind BEFORE you decide you think you can go hog wild .. that will definitely result in a safe word to end the "play" more than likely permanently. Fortunately that has not really been an issue (well once with MrD) but it worked out.
Of course, as always alot also depends on who you are with too! As always .. it is key .. chemistry, honesty & trust!!!
It will grow .. my little hard limit list. I know I will add things as I go further down the rabbit hole.
Gods only knows what other quirky things I will put on there.
Hmmm, I wonder if I will have to put my ewok on there too!
YUB NUB!!!!! o.O
