I swear to my Gods if I hear, one more time ... "Are you sure your not a Domme? You would be an excellent Domme, .. you SHOULD be a Domme!" I will physically go beyond "being a Domme" and physically fucking hurt someone! Seriously.
I, for the record, HATE Dommes. I think they are disgusting .. true story. And they scare the pants off me too. I could never be subjected to their special brand of humiliation nor COULD I ever do the stuff they do, to another living soul. I am sorry if that offends anybody, but I am just being honest
I have lived my life, as a single, independent woman, working in a very male dominated environment. I have always had to pay my own way & alot of times, in the military, have had to go above & beyond what most males do just to prove that I had just as much right to be there as my male counterparts did.
I have lived like this, because I have never had anybody to rely on before .. never. And I learned a long time ago to not rely on anybody else. I am strong & I am independent. I would not ask anything from anybody .. even if I were lying in the gutter!
But does this make me a Domme? I should hope not. The very thought of it sickens me.
I have had to be strong my whole life .. not so much because I wanted to but because I had to. It's has only been this past year that my submissiveness has been awaken. It has been a huge learning curve. And I am sure that if there ever comes a point that I will be in a 24/7 relationship that I will struggle with letting go of many Independence/trust issues.
I hardly think that makes me a Domme. I find the very thought a complete insult!!!
*jumps off her soapbox ... kicks it away - stubbing her toe in the process* and proceeds very grumpily into Monday morning!!
BAH HUMBUG!
I am far from a Domme as well. I am very independent, and honestly I hate it. People call it strength, I call it survival.
ReplyDelete"I have had to be strong my whole life .. not so much because I wanted to but because I had to."
That is spot on with my life. Spot on!
Oh, I cringe whenever I see those penis cage things. I wanted to send a pic of it with a smart ass comment to Sir, yet couldn't do it. I literally puked thinking that being on a cock.
It's probably the most asked question I get on tumblr & I fucking hate it! And from "others" who SHOULD know me better than that. I find it COMPLETELY insulting to me on a very personal level ... It makes me feel ... I don't know the right word ... Butch? Unclean? Definitely disgusted!!!! (And yes I have VERY personal reasons for feeling the way I do. I know we are supposed to be open mind & tolerant in this lifestyle & I am, honestly, I am ... Until it effects me personally! I pity the next full who insults me so!!!
DeleteYou're fun when you get mad. Hee!:) Seriously, yeah, I can't imagine it either. I'm a control freak about my life, but as I said on my blog in a post about being a control freak, I have no interest in controlling someone else's life, and certainly not causing them pain or sexual torment. But then, there are pictures of Doms torturing subs all over Tumblr, so it's not just Dommes, but either way, doing things TO people is not for me. I apologize to snails on the rare occasion that I accidentally step on one.
ReplyDeleteYes it was a fun way to start off a Monday morning.
DeleteIn my (admittedly) limited experience & knowledge if Dommes it's all about the humiliation... To me the actual sex acts don't bother me ... But the humiliation ... Turning people into sissies, insulted them degrading them ... No thank you. In my eyes it is just mean ... Some people get off on that ... I do NOT! On either end if the spectrum. Call ME a pig, in any context & that would be the LAST thing you would ever say to me (no offence to anybody .. That is totally me & my own feelings of self loathing in play). Do no harm! I do not know how far my submission would ever go but there has to be caring & respect - on both sides or I am just not interested
You just made me laugh. At first, being called His fuck pug was hard. I knew it may have been a possibility when we were discussing my "name". He did wait until He knew i was ready for it. Now, I can't wait to hear Him say it. The moment He does is the moment i become truly His.
DeleteI will say, degradation and humiliation is not for everyone. I wasn't sure how I felt, but it really has helped me get past my insecurities and demons than anything else ever has. In part, i think because of how much trust i have in Him, how when not in the scene He shows a lot of respect and care. The intelligence He knows I possess and enjoys challenging me intellectually. The way He has let His insecurities show.
Again, we all get off on different things. I definitely could never be a Domme. Never.
You can call me a fuck toy, slut, cunt, whore, pain slut ... Whatever and I will be begging for more. Pig is just one of those trigger words for me. It makes me cringe now just thinking about it. It's a purely personal thing for me ... Inner demons & all that rot.
DeleteI think that humiliation & degradation is different for everybody.
FormerD use to think that he was degrading me, once by making me his footstool, another time having me give him a foot message while fucking myself with his other foot. Even My Batman gave me hearty doses of things that I am sure would humiliate & degrade others. In neither case I did not feel any if that. Of course both dynamics had liberal doses of affection & aftercare. Maybe that's the difference??
With Dommes it's all about the humiliation ... In some cases .. Almost abuse. I have seen one dynamic where the sub has been in orgasm denial for almost a year ... With lots of daily edging. I am sorry but can that even be healthy???
It's almost like Dommes have a vendetta against the make population (don't even think they treat female subs as bad) ... A make sub said this to me once & it kind of struck a cord ...
"Dommes are scary. The issue I have with many Dommes is they seem to not care at all about their subs and it seems very one sided. So cold and uncaring "
Hopefully Master never comes up with the idea of calling me a pig. Definitely not ok. I don't think he will though, I hope, because he seems focused on human insults, not animal ones. And what's erotic in any way about a pig? Nothing against pigs. Pigs can actually be rather cute. But what does a pig have to do with us having sex? Nothing at all. Thankfully, Master hasn't shown any interest in orgasm denial either. That just wouldn't work for me. There are times when I have to do it in order to get to sleep at night, and unless he's going to start paying my rent, I need to be rested for work. No, Master really just wants sex when and how he wants it. He's really not particularly interested in all this other stuff.
DeleteIt all really boils down to consent doesn't it? Whether called pet, precious or fuck toy, yes even fuck pig. What works for some will not work for others.
DeleteMy Batman liked me being a kittie ... I have to admit, I felt the whole thing rather interesting, even crawling on the floor to drink out of my specially purchased water dish. It's all about discovering what works & what doesn't work in your dynamic. The whole pet play idea didn't appeal to me much at all but, I don't know ... It just something both My Batman & I just started to explore. *shrug* who knows, maybe Mr Hockey will like kitties too?? ;)
Eeek. Are they asking you to be their domme? Because maybe you could just say 'sure--your first order is to deregister from all social media and never return until you learn how to read a profile." or something to that affect. Tumblr questions scare me sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI joke with my Daddy all the time about having a 'reverse day' and letting me top him, but honestly if he said yes I doubt I could actually do it. I'm definitely not domme material. It doesn't matter anyways because he's told me there's no chance of that.
I have no idea Aurora ... Both you & Phillip have seen my tumblr ... Am I giving Domme vibes off or something??? I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteBut it's not just anon ... People who should KNOW BETTER accuse me too ... Yes I said accuse.
".I am still not sure you couldn not be a Domme"
Really?!?!? Maybe it's just wishful thinking.
Beyond wanting to have "control" once in awhile to worship His body at will ... I have NO desire to dominate ... EVER!
Well I haven't seen any 'ball crushing' posts yet, so no. And you clearly say you're 'submissive' in your profile. There is no helping the anons -- there just isn't. As for the rest, my best guess is that they're mistaking your 'strength' for 'dominance'.
DeleteTo the outside world, Phillip doesn't come across as dominant. He's an introvert and he's quiet. He's also not a Type A guy. Little gets him 'worked up' whether good or bad. But he's also highly observant -- he has a way of assessing situations and people that baffles me. My friends used to run their new boyfriends by him -- they called it the "Phillip-dar" because he had a way of telling if someone's lying or hiding something (and he's always right). He's patient, even-keeled..he'd be the guy you want to be next to if the building was burning because he wouldn't panic and would lead you out. All things that I think make him a good dominant.
I think it's like that with you -- personally I see great strength through your writing. I've loved reading your blog. You've really put yourself out there, opened up, gave your heart with your Batman. And despite him breaking it, you're picking yourself up, dusting off, and ready to give your heart again to the right one. You know what you want and not about to settle for less. I think that strength and courage is what makes you a great submissive. Because it takes a lot of strength to give up control.
Some people see strength and automatically assume you must be dominant (because submissives are supposed to be weak or something...grrr :/). I do believe though that the right dom will see your strength for what it is and won't be mistaking you as somebody who wants to crush his balls.
Hope your is day getting better.
hugs,
aurora--sorry for getting so long-winded....
Wow Aurora .. just WOW!!! *blush blush blush blush* That's the nicest thing I have heard in a long o' time!! I am truly touched that you enjoy my blog & that you think that about me!!! :')
DeleteI guess I have really put myself out there. I approach my blog to be a journal for me, a place to figure all this crazy stuff out!!! It still amazes me that people actually read it!!! But I have commited to being as honest as I can .. of course it doesn't hurt when you are stark raving mad!
But again .. thanks soooo much for your kind words .. they literally made my day!!!!!!!!
(((hugs)))
I didn't realize you have a Tumblr? Now you've got me curious. Do you let these comments asking you if you're a Domme show on your Tumblr? I'd love to read your response there if it's visible. I don't know if you give out the link to just anyone who asks, but I'd enjoy seeing it.
ReplyDeleteI do Tumbl!!! I am so addicted! I actually made a post about it not too long ago.
DeleteI signed up on Tumblr for the dirty pictures (let's face it .. we all did). I never expected what I have gotten out of it!!! Friends from around the globe. Over 500 followers (how that happened I will never know!!) since August ... and counting! I met Mr Hockey via Tumblr ... and SafeD for that matter.
Freaky thing about SafeD ... we met on Tumblr .. as random followers ... found out we live in the same city AND not only that but we work in the same FREAKIN' building!!!! It still boggles my mind!!!!
Anyway, please feel free to add me ... I would love to do the same with yours .....
http://geekiekittie.tumblr.com/