Tori's Questions:

Ok *deep breath* ... tori didn't waste anytime .. she pounced! :P

Here goes:

1) 3 things you really would like to try kink wise?

- I kinda really like the idea of pet play. Being a kittie to be more specific. The ears, the tail, collar, leash, ... curled up at the feet my owner. I don't really know how well I would do at the role playing thing though.

- a threesome with 2 bi-guys, 2 Doms, or a Dom & another male sub. Either way ... I have a real thing for "gay" sex  And yes I would love to peg a guy but in no way would I do it (or want to) in a Dommy kind of way myself.

- I hate to say "rape" play but FormerD told me a couple of weeks ago, that he say this moving that had this rape scene in it & all he could think of was me & what he would love to do. O.O   I don't know if I would go so far as to say I would want an actual rape scene but being forced/restrained and being at the mercy of somebody is really hot to me. I like the idea of the St Andrew's cross ... I got to see a c girl getting flogged on the cross in the dungeon at Sexapoolza & my Brat literally had to pull me away, I was mesmerized! O.O

2) what do you look for in a s dominant?

This one is easy yet so hard. I want a Dom that actually wants me back.

Obviously the chemistry has to be there. I am getting pretty good at recognizing lack of chemistry. People bore me pretty easily. I am quirky and I need somebody, who not only recognizes that but embraces it and shares in it as well.  Face it .. I dress up like Star Wars ... and I am almost 50 .. quirky doesn't begin to cover it.

But I want to be loved & adored by My Dom .. and I want nothing more than to please him. By definition, I think maybe I would probably be suited for a DD/lg kind of relationship, not that being an out & out "little" is what I am because no, from what I have seen (I am on tumblr FAR too much & alot of my followers are littles), I am not a little. But there are undeniable traits ... I would rather go to a Disney movie then most any other type .. like action/thrillers. I like silly. And I am certainly more attracted to the nurturing type of Dom then the stern, all business, type. I love to laugh & joke & tease& have as much fun as possible, but I also need that "ok playtime is over, kittie" tone & discipline & tasks would not be out of order either.

Oh my gosh ... did I even answer the question??? O.o

3) when did you first realise, understand, accept that you had these 'needs' ie to submit, kinky inclinations?

About a week after FormerD left me. I had no idea, the kind of anxiety I would go thru .. and if it weren't for a kind hearted Dom blogger, answer the emailed questions from a desperate wannabe .. I probably would have gone back to vanilla life without ever having the courage to go further down this path on my own.

Mr Experience opened my eyes to this lifestyle. FormerD showed me how amazing it could be (but I was still in so much denial about what I was becoming). But it was MyBatman would really let me flourish. His sadist streak, his wit, his charm, his encouragement and his faith, really opened me up. He called me fearless. I don't know about that but with him there guiding me, and making me feel cared for and safe .. I felt fearless! He made me want to be more, to be pleasing! 
No matter what else, nobody will have done it like we did.  

(a quote from the man himself and he wasn't half wrong!!!)

It's been over a year now .. since I entered this lifestyle .. most of that time I have been a "free-agent". It has not been easy being a single sub, especially a newly "awakened" one. Hopefully, one day I will be able to fill that void & become the sub I clearly want (need) to be.

Thanks for the questions, tori!!! (it was almost fun) :P

(((hugs)))