Parliament resumed today but all the politicians gathered at the war memorial to pay tribute to our fallen soldier, before going to work. It poignant.
But as the Prime Minister was laying a wreath .. some asshole crossed over the police tape & cops went nuts. There is video showing them yelling .. guns drawn and arresting him. High drama.
I received this message on my facebook page last night .. from a co-worker, which I thought was totally bizarre:
"Thank you for having the balls to stay til everyone was out today. Some ship we have when the management leaves and doesn't let anyone know."
I didn't DO anything.
But then this morning, my supervisor (who was off sick yesterday, leaving me as acting supervisor), a Master Corporal in the military reserve, was singing my praises. You did good! Thank you! It was a good thing you were here!
WTF?!?!?!
Then Manon ... our senior military person, who is regular force (she was stuck in lock down at the military hospital all day yesterday), she too sought me out & sang my praises.
"But I didn't do ANYTHING!"
Our supervisor (who is a retired Commanding Officer) has no leadership qualities what's so ever. She didn't know what to do. Our "lockdown" was a farce yesterday, we had no direction. We were allowed to come & go as we pleased "at our own" risk. She was not given any direction from her superiors yesterday until late in the day. She came to me with the directive "it is highly recommended that your personnel stay put until the lockdown order has been rescinded" ... but she left at 330 to catch her bus. *shrug*
All I did was talk to people & made sure that stayed safe ... were not going anywhere near the epi-centre & had a way home. I don't think that it was anything special. Especially in the light of all the shit that was going down just a couple blocks away. But whatever.
So anyway, life goes on ....
I have been obsessing all day. I have been weary all day. My head has been throbbing all day. It has coloured my judgement .. I have been rude & standoffish to people that didn't really deserve it. I have not been myself today.
I was a small part of a major incident in my beloved country, in my beloved city, in my beloved military. I was on the outside looking in. But it has effecting profoundly. I am both defensive & offensive. A victim(?) and/or a soldier who vowed to protect her country a long time ago? Both probably ... I guess.
But I am tired now .. exhausted. I am going to bed. I thank everyone who has read the past few posts. Thank you for reading, thank you for your tolerance and especially thank those of you who have contacting me and expressed your concern for my safety and well being. I REALLY do appreciate it.
Peace Out
Why can't you see what I see? You DID do something special? How do you think the others knew what you did? Those who were scared, lost and felt unguided had you to guide them. They are the ones that shared how your thoughtfulness helped ease their lost ways. You stepped up. It wasn't asked of you but you did it because that is who you are! You went into a mode that felt normal to you. To others, it meant something different.
ReplyDeleteYou are a remarkable young woman. It's an honor (sorry, I is American..haha) being your friend.
I hope you get done rest this weekend.
Thank you, but I was just doing my job .. Nothing more, nothing less. I didn't think it was anything special then & I think that saying I did anything above and beyond is ridiculous now. It says more to S's lack of leadership than anything else.
ReplyDeleteBut I do thank you just the same . ... You are too kind
We will agree to disagree. You did more than you think. :)
DeleteI'm gonna completely agree with HS, your co-worker, and your supervisor.
ReplyDeleteI saw a special on tv once about how people react in moments of crisis. It said something like 80 percent of people will look for and follow guidance, 10 percent of people will panicked and do nothing (which I'm pretty sure I fall into), and the remaining 10 percent are those who will step up and take charge and be the heroes. You are definitely one of that heroic 10 percent. I could've said that before all of this though. You are definitely a strong and courageous person. Don't sell yourself so short!
Thinking of you lots and hope you're getting some time to recover and sleep and keep that fibro at bay.
hugs,
aurora
Really you are too kind, Aurora ... all of you! A big heart felt thank you. (((hugs)))
Deletei think you're wonderful. You absolutely did do your job, unlike others by the sound of it, jolly well done xxx
ReplyDeleteand oh my, that first picture had me in tears
Ok ok! I give in! :) Thank you mc. And yes that cartoon just captures it all so brilliantly .. I too cried when I first saw it.
Delete