****Disclaimer****
This post is my perspective & only pertains to things that I have experienced in my own life. It's is in way, shape, or form, indicative of how I feel about others. I do not judge & nor would I ever.
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This post has been very hard to write. It's been a long time in the making ... about 6 months now. I know what I want to say, but organizing thoughts into words has been difficult.
So here goes ....
There is nothing worse than a dirty little secret ... I should know, I have been one, on more than one occasion.
Not fun.
I have felt cheap.
I have felt used.
I have felt useless.
I have felt unworthy &
I have felt unloved.
Not good enough ... never good enough.
Burned.
I am not playing the victim card here .. I am well aware that it does take two to tango & I take full responsibility for my own actions,always.
But in the end .. I always lose.
He (the collective of them) would get to walk away ... scott free.
Had his fun, no harm, no foul.
His dirty little secret, gone ... tossed aside, buried, forgotten.
Living large & free .. with no accountability.
Does he feel any guilt? I highly doubt it.
Does he go confessing his sins to her??? I highly doubt it.
"Why does she need to know anyway? "She doesn't deserve to be hurt" (but apparently the dirty little secret does)"
Fucking Coward.
But ...
the more time I spend in this lifestyle, the more I understand that being the dirty little secret, just doesn't cut it.
I love the HONESTY in this lifestyle.
Anything less than that ..... no thank you!
NEVER AGAIN!!!!!
I have a Dom/Daddy/Boyfriend, who is nothing less than amazing. He has been slowly putting the pieces of me back together again. He is kind and patient. He is supportive and loving.
He is NOT ashamed of me.
He is NOT ashamed to announce to the world that I am His and He is mine.
He is proud of me.
And He is proud to be with me.
He is there when I am sick ... He is there when I am sad ... He is there when I am mad.
He is my rock.
He is my awesome sauce!
He is ALWAYS there ... for me.
I am His kitten, His babygirl, His fucktoy, His friend, His confidant, His sounding board .. HIS.
But best of all ..........................
I am NEVER
HIS DIRTY LITTLE SECRET!
So happy for you!
ReplyDeletePeople can be cruel--which has 'nothing' to do with you, you just happened to be in cruel's path.
I don't think of it as cruel. I don't not see myself as a victim. No not cruel, selfish - yes, but then again, I too would have been selfish as well ... wanting what I couldn't have. But I paid and paid and paid for those mistakes. No, I think this post is more of an ode to me ... not to ever be so stupid again. But then again I have my Wolf ... my forever Wolf. ;)
DeleteThanks for the comment though Misty .. it really made me think.
I'm so glad you have your Wolf!!! Because all of that is EXACTLY what you deserve! One of the highlights for me this past year has been hearing how happy you are :)
ReplyDeletehugs,
aurora
One of the highlights of this past year for me (besides MyWolf) is becoming friends with you (and Charming)!! ;)
DeleteI hope you and Wolf continue to find happiness for a long time to come. Second best is never good enough
ReplyDeleteSecond best is never good enough!
DeleteI love it! I think I need to make that my mantra.
Thanks! ;)
Every one should feel special ....and not used or useless....I was there before i met Master....I love that you have met someone who cherishes you..you deserve it.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
It's too true abby ... I think alot of us have been there.
Deletethanks
(((hugs)))