“What does being a Dom or sub mean to you personally?”

This question was posted on tumblr by a friend of mine .. I did not feel qualified to answer it. But then he asked me to personally. MEEP!

I know what it means to me, in my head. Translating it into written word .. well we'll see.

I have always had a need to make people about. It gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling. I have been accused alot in my life of being a bleeding heart. I have said this before .. I am an emotional creature. I tend to led with my heart rather than my head. Feel first .. think after. .. but this should wait for another post (or not).

Being submissive to me is about being able to give of myself. Of belonging. Sating the need to please. It's more than the physical aspect. Reaching into my mind and forcing me to admit to myself, things that I am too afraid to admit. Pushing my boundaries. I love the mind fuckery of it all. I love the feeling of fear, when pushed .. to try something new. And with "all the experience I have" (she says sarcastically) ... everything is still so new!

And being submissive, to the right Dom? Well I LOVE being owned. Being His kittie, His pet, His baby girl, His pain slut, His fuck toy. The thrill I get of hearing "I am so proud of you" "good girl" "you ARE MINE" ... *purrrrrs* ... it makes me very proud to belong to Him, to know that I have pleased Him, to make Him happy.

And being His submissive, it lets me sing. He doesn't want a doormat ... enjoys my sassy playfulness, yet does not hesitate to let me know when I have gone too far. And knows me well enough to know when something is wrong .. even before I realize it. I can be me ... quirky, geeky, star wars fan girl, nuts, moody, scared, cuddly, needy, serious, vanilla .. all of it.. Just me.

And that's what being submissive means to me.

The First Time

So the Sgt Major (CSM) and I have finally managed to set up a play date! 

TOMORROW MORNING!!!!

I am nervous and excited and full of trepidation!

This will be the first time since my former Dom left. 

The first time with a new Dom. 

The first time with somebody other than my former Dom. 

The first time with an "experienced" Dom.

AND 

The first time since really "embracing" my submissive nature.

... But no pressure!!!

MEEP!!!!! O.O

(Side note ... My LAN is fucked up from latest storm ... So only have wifi on iPhone .. Am lurking but can't post or read much) :(