And the first thoughts out of my lazy brain?
...... I don't feel like it.
What? Really?
But I complied..
And I am doing it but ... my mind *sighs*
He kinda called me on it and asked .... "am I irritating you/"
"Am I irritating you?" hmmmm ... good question.
No, He is not ... but I am irritating me.
Well I am not mad or resentful or anything like that. I am just being lazy
And it really has gotten me to thinking about my submission.
Not that I don't want it because I do .. I absolutely do. And I want to be the best sub I can possibly be for him (no, I know that nobody is perfect & there are always going to be "those" days)
But I need to school my mind.
To always try to be more pleasing ... to be more submissive.\Not just during play but all the time.
And I realized just how far I still have to go.
(but I will always keep going ,,, I am perpetually a work in progress!)
There are times I want to be lazy. Times I don't want to do the task. It isn't because I don't want to submit. I think it has to do with my mind & body are exhausted, so I just want to have it all about me. Maybe communicate more? Not that it would change things, but He isn't there to physically watch you to see how you are doing and so may not realize how you need Him to maybe give a different task, like go rest and do xyz.
ReplyDeleteDoes any of that make sense?