GRRRRRRR!!!!!

I have been trying really hard to move forward with my life. I have been making a concerted effort to get over the past & get out there. I have been meeting lots of new people, I have been getting reacquainted with old "friends". I am moving on. Right????

And then I get plagued with dreams. For over 2 weeks now I have been having dreams of him. Like the one I posted yesterday. They are not all tea & roses though. Most of the time they end up fucked up & wake me up in the middle of the night. Like the one I had last night.

 I had a bad one, the night I ended up talking to FormerD all night. I could overlook that one, mostly, because well, I was talking to FormerD all night. 

But come on really???  I don't want this. It's been almost 5 months for fuck sake! 

Is it my subconscious, not willing to let go?  I don't understand this at all. I was doing so well, trying so hard. 

I really want to move past this. I want to be happy. I really do. I do! Because let me tell you ... it really sucks to be hung up on & mooning over somebody that doesn't want you. 

And I really fucking HATE IT! 

Perfectly

You are sitting in your lazy boy watching your stupid baseball. I lean against the wall leading into the living room, just watching you. You look up & our eyes meet. Small smiles acknowledging each other. There are no words, we don't need them. I walk to where you are & crawl into your lap. Your arms engulf me as I rest my head against your shoulder.  You kiss my forehead & I nuzzle into your neck. And there we sit just watching the game. Perfectly happy. Perfectly content ... just to be.

(the dream I had Tuesday night)

Dream Come True!!!!

I have loved ... LOVED Paul McCartney (Macca) for as long as I can remember .. 5-6 years old?

I have missed many opportunities to see him, in concert, found out too late, too expensive, too far away.

I have only ever been to one concert before. The Police Syncronicity tour in '83. I didn't like the crowds or the fact that they were throwing pop & live cigarette butts down on us.

I swore I would never go to another concert again .. except for Macca.

Last Monday it was annoucned that he was coming to my home town!!! It all happened soooo fast! I have so many things on the go & money tied up but he was coming!!!

Tickets were going on sale Friday at 10am.

I woke Friday morning feeling pretty desulte. I was pretty convinced that I would not be able to swing it. I would not be able to go to the concert. At 9am I was sitting at my desk at work ... I looked up the ticket website. It would be iffy if I would be able to get thru to buy tickets fm my computer at work (STUPID FIREWALLS) .. but I could go to a ticket outlet & try my luck there.

I went for it!

 I told my boss, what I was doing & I would make up the time. I HAD TO TRY! It was my long dream after all.

I didn't care about tickets .. I would have sat in the rafters, in the basement, on the roof! Hells, I would have sat outside the venue with my ear to the wall. Just to hear him .. would be amazing!

There were at least 20 people ahead of me in line. *sighs* and this was only 1 outlet store, among many (not including phone & internet). My nerves were shot! And still another 30 minutes before the tickets went on sale!

I knew that it was going to sell out fast. It's PAUL McCARTNEY after all!

It took forever, that line up! We were all soooo anxious. Friends on facebook, were anxious for me! I drained my iphone battery waiting for my turn.

The fifth person in line came away from the ticket window. "I got my two tickets .. we are not even sitting together" .. there are only single seats left .. in horrible locations" *groans*

And we waited .. and heard stories of the people ahead of us that either took the lousy single seats or passed "Oh there is a rumour that they are going to lay on a second show" .. sure, sure, I would rather not take the chance, thanks!

Finally, there are only 3 people left in front of me. It has been about an hour .. we are all waiting to hear "sold out". Then came the word .. there is only 1 seat left!!!! I wanted to push those 3 people out of the way & say MINE but of course ... no. I was pretty sure that the first 2 girls were together & would not take the ticket but the creepy guy in front of me ... I was sure he was going to get it. I was practically in tears. Soooooo close .. only to have it just out of your reach!

BUT OMG!!! He walked away!!! He frickin WALKED AWAY!! But there was still all the other outlet stores, the internet & the phone.

I was shaking as I walked up to the cashier ...

Her: "There is only 1.... "

Me: "I'll take it" ..

Her: "The seat ...."

Me: "I'll take it"

Her: "The cost .. "

Me: "I'll take it"

and ...

I GOT THE LAST FRICKIN' TICKET TO THE SOLD OUT MACCA CONCERT!!!!

I was just about in tears as I paid for my ticket.

 That was so close! My nerves are shot!

I am still stunned & in awe.

I am soooo glad that I went for it & that I will get to fulfil a life long dream.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEE! :D